just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
