I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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