the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
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