Plan B is the new Plan A
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize