So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I love you. Go after that dick
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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