So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
