You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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