I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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