I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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