is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
