There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
