before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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