Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Randomize
