He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
