I need help removing her.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
