areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
