did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
