why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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