i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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