She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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