my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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