Kiss
Puke
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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