This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Randomize
