i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
