i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
My breasts were aching with rage.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
