I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
