I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
