youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
