I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
