every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
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It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
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I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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