Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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