Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Randomize
