I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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