tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
