Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
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The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
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I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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