Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I deserve this hangover.
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