Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize