I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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