So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
