I just made out with a guy for $7.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
