More tranny stories later!
oh god the rape fog is back!
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
