it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
