I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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