We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
