there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize