You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
