My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
