Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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