you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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