I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
