well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
