I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Randomize
