my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize