He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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