I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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