Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
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I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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