sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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