I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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