His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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