their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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