I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Randomize
