I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
