Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
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