If that was your dad, he is hot
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
