I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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