I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
