I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize