She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
