Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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