If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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